Here are my views:
I have struggled in the past with trying to make everyone happy or maybe more familiar I had a hard time telling people no. These are problems because we 1. can not control the happiness of someone else. 2. I believe happiness is a choice. (yes I know what you are thinking, hogwash!) While external stimulus does result in an emotional response, that response is still based on how that person interprets the stimulus. Its memories and past experiences and how we define them that creates the present stimulus and how it makes us feel. There is also the idea of transformational vocabulary. The words we use say a lot about us as a person. The words we use the most generally show up in how we feel most often. If you are always complaining and mad at others you tend to stay in a state of anger. Let all that go, choose your words wisely and keep in mind that you can change your mood in seconds. Just think about the things that bring you joy, close your eyes and see the things that make you happy. It takes practice to create these new neural pathways, but if it does not challenge us, it will not change us.
What I heard from Christine Hassler:
- Expectation to get back what you give…recipe for failure. Don’t give to get.
- Stop giving to others and start giving to yourself. Do not wait for others to give to you, give yourself what you are longing for. Work on self love.
- Don’t give for selfish reasons, stop keeping score.
- If it makes you feel negative that is an alert from your brain trying to tell you that what you are doing needs to be reviewed for intention.
- Only you can heal your past hurts/pain.
And a wonderful write up that begins with this quote:
“One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and it’s perfectly okay.” ~Unknown